June 24th, 2008

It hurts, bad

I had no plans to fight the dragon. Or of rescuing the princess. I didn't even know there was a princess until the dragon told me so. Perhaps I ought to start at the beginning. My name is Dee. And this is the story of my life.

It was a bright summer day when I found myself at the precipice with a herd of rhinos rushing towards me. Perhaps it had something to do with the magic rhino egg I stole. So I do the only logical thing to do under these circumstances - I jump off the cliff. And BAM! I land on my bottom. Hard. It hurts. Bad.

I find myself on the back of a fire-breathing dragon. The dragon roars and I squeal but I hold tight for that's the one place I know the dragon can't reach. After turning its neck this way and that, the dragon gives up and says, "Hey buddy, you win. You can have the princess. Mind getting off my back now? You're awfully heavy". "Oi! I so am not!". And I whack him with the magic rhino egg. And he turns into an apricot.

The dragon defeated, I enter the princess' bedchamber where she is fast asleep. So I do what all handsome princes do in fairy tales - I start making out with her. The princess wakes up, screams and whacks me with her umbrella. It hurts. Bad.

We return to the kingdom, where the king decides to get the two of us married. On our wedding night, the princess runs away with the best man. The best man turns out to be a leopard in disguise and eats her up. The king is devastated and sells me to a slave trader.

I end up an oarsman aboard a warship. The food isn't great, the work hours are long and there's always the threat of a being eaten alive by a sea creature.

After I retire from slavery, I move to a foreign country where I get myself a little house. I spend the rest of my days planting flowers and growing old - a very very cynical man. Kids make fun of me and call me a grouch. They ride their bicycles on my lawn and ruin my flowers. One night they break into my house and steal everything I own. Even my false teeth by the bedside. I die of starvation.

My name is Dee. And this is the story of my life.

Moral - A garlic a day keeps the vampire away.

Comments (rss) (trackback)

1. Cuckoo said
on June 24th, 2008 @ 9:59 pm

Interesting.
And welcome back. It was quite a break.
2. Prixie said
on June 25th, 2008 @ 1:09 pm

very Shrekesque tale…love it!
3. Swapnil said
on June 26th, 2008 @ 2:18 pm

How can I get some of that crap imagination?
…
4. sheece said
on June 26th, 2008 @ 5:36 pm

This deserves a Nobel, only u have to stop eating garlic.
5. Atin said
on July 2nd, 2008 @ 12:12 pm

start writing a novel
6. ray said
on July 9th, 2008 @ 3:48 pm

Hi ,

I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be wow.. u write well.. Why don’t you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blogs took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run http://www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows..
Cheers,
7. Ray said
on July 18th, 2008 @ 2:31 pm

Hi pravin , I downloaded you deeb0t and i edited it to speak in my own language which is afrikaans (south african)

I just wanted to know a few things.

1) Can you setup the bot that it automatically speaks to every one in the channel?

2) Is there a way to code the bot so that it says random things without being asked a question

just lemme know

RAY
8. Spikedelik said
on July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:37 pm

Actually,
A garlic a day would keep the vampire, amongst other beings, away!

It did keep me away from your blog for long… Or am I a vampire???
9. rain girl said
on July 24th, 2008 @ 1:26 pm

oh man! ROTF love it! *sigh* wish i could describe my life like that..
10. Bhagya said
on August 27th, 2008 @ 12:52 pm

A garlic a day also keeps general humanity away.

To answer your question. I am real if you believe in illusion.
11. ally said
on September 16th, 2008 @ 1:46 pm

just lemme know!
A garlic a day would keep the vampire, amongst other beings, away!
12. Misha said
on October 22nd, 2008 @ 9:59 am

Hi Pravin,

I realised a few days ago that you had posted a comment on my blog…um…u posted it AGES ago, but I saw it only recently…just wanted to say Thank You…for taking the time out to read me!

and yes…i love your writing!keep at it!

n btw…i have a question…can i be a part of ur blog,even if i am not an IITian? i mean if it helps, i am the daughter of one…so…

anyway,cheers!tc!
13. Misha said
on October 22nd, 2008 @ 11:25 pm

hi again…will u please help me make my blog more interesting?stupid request,but phir bhi…